everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
