Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
