im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
