if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize