Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
