I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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