:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
