I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
