I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
