he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
