i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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