These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
