Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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