Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
