I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
