What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
As shirtless as possible
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
