Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
