new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
