Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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