Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
In America we eat man semen.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
