Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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