What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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