I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
