no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Screwed.edu
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
