I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
