Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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