how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
