I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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