I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
