it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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