what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
