Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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