Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.

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(801): View more from Utah

let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.

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(434): View more from Virginia

I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...

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(612): View more from Minnesota

just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON

(651): View more from Minnesota

clearly you have your priorities straight

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.

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(850): View more from Florida

Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked

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(573): View more from Missouri

Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night

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