Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
