can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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