Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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