They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
tell me about the fingering
Randomize