I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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