i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
