What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
