I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I wish I only lived at night.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
