i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
