Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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