I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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