spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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