why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
