It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
