there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As shirtless as possible
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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