Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
