I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
