dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
