You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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