dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
my liver is dry heaving
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
