You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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