i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
