when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My dick has a subreddit
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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