so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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